On April 11th, 2020, I will begin hiking the Pacific Crest Trail from Mexico to Canada through California, Oregon, and Washington. This ongoing series is an attempt to document the entire journey from beginning to end. 

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The Pressure Is On

With less than 300 days until this journey begins, I am beginning to feel the pressure. There is still so much gear to purchase, miles to hike, and overnight practice runs to attempt. As I plan, prepare, and check things off my to-do list, I feel a nervous anxiety wash over me. A part of me wants nothing left to chance. The other part of me wants to calm down and enjoy the ride. Soon, I will be in the middle of the desert putting one foot in front of the other. I know I will be grateful for the internal conflict I am feeling at this moment. It will ensure a journey beyond compare, but it will also remind me to slow down and enjoy this. Not everyone gets to be here in this moment.

My Expectations

I have spent a lot of time wrestling with my expectations. There is the positive: freedom, escape, living with purpose, and decluttering my life. There is the negative: finances that won’t quit, budgeting, environmental factors, animals that wish I was elsewhere, and the unexpected. Trying to weigh my expectations and silence my mind has become a challenge beyond compare. I know this won’t go away until I shift from thinking about the hike to doing the hike.

Feeling Generous? Here is my Amazon PCT Wishlist…

AMAZON PCT WISHLIST

Knowing Too Much

The trail has become a consuming thought; something I read, watch and research almost daily. There are times I fear that I have learned too much for my own good. By nature, I am a planner. I don’t like chaos and try to manage my professional and personal life away from it. This often doesn’t afford me a lot of freedom. I fear the chaos that might accompany this 5-month journey. This fear shouldn’t be crippling, though. It should be a motivator; an opportunity to get better. With this said, I know I am arriving at a point where I won’t read another article or watch another video. I will have done everything I can do to prepare. In that silence, excitement will grow. After that moment, it will be about walking forward.

Illness

Recently, I spent a weekend in hell with food poisoning. For three days, I spent more time in the bathroom than I did out in the real world. Things didn’t begin to get better until I got a prescription to put my stomach at ease. This whole experience gave me a lot to think about in terms of the PCT. Without a doubt, over the course of five months, I will get sick. I will more than likely be uninsured and far from a doctor’s office. How will I cope? How will I survive? How will I get better? These are problems I need to solve before stepping on the trail.

Mail Me Something…

Preparing for the Unexpected

Being sick also got me thinking about all the other unexpected challenges that may arise. Poison oak may brush my skin. A rattlesnake may show me who is boss. Those little black bears may show me who is king of the woods. When I step back and look at all the things that could go wrong, I must find ways to mitigate those challenges. Now that I wrestle with it more and more, I realize I must find a way to continue my insurance. I don’t want my health to be the reason I don’t finish this trail.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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