Secrets
Our humanity is defined by the secrets we keep individually and collectively. Revolutions are born of secrets. Walls are brought down because of secrets. People are set free and people meet the end in the name of secrets. In my estimation, secrets are not necessarily lies. They are stories waiting to be told. Some may never be uttered, but that in itself is a story.
When you step back and look at the very idea of keeping something secret and the drive to know, much is revealed about the human condition. Secrets are kept to surprise. They protect. They save. They kill. They shock. They change things in an instant. They are a powerful force and often dismissed unless we find ourselves in their grip.
My secrets have done me no good. For fourteen years, I hid from the world my sexuality. I lived with an immense fear of rejection, embarrassment, and loneliness. My secret was kept in an attempt to keep myself safe from the world. Yet, I wasn’t safe from myself. Depression and anxiety felt like weights on my shoulders. It wasn’t until a braver and more confident version of myself emerged that I was allowed to be set free.
Right now, as I type this post, I know there is someone reading it who can relate. A secret is keeping them safe. To them, I say take your time. Being braver than my secrets was the hardest part. Arriving at a point of honesty was not an easy journey for me. It required me to test the waters and attempt to soften the potential blows. In the end, I was lucky. I found a support network, friends who have my back no matter what, and the unconditional love of my family. Slowly living my truth allowed me to live a more honest life. Depending on the nature of the thing you are battling, I think the same can be true for you.
Be good to each other,
-Nathan
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