The first few dates are filled with nervous anticipation. A few more dates and you find yourself in a committed relationship. That first year is a honeymoon phase. Then, you are so madly in love that you give way to a natural shift and soon conversations about marriage, settling down, the future, and forgiving all those little annoyances your partner presents. Perhaps you move in together or maybe you find yourself spending almost every waking hour together. Whatever the situation, the first year or two passes and the real work begins. One of the challenges a long-term relationship faces is finding new ways to express love. When the honeymoon phase gives way to reality, a relationship becomes about continually watering the tree, so it will maintain life.

Yet, a relationship should be about more than the status quo. We get stuck in a circle of trying to maintain. Instead, what if we could bottle those feelings of admiration and love that we experienced while falling head over heels for someone? What if we stayed curious? What if we continually needed to surprise and feel love? This level of affection isn’t impossible. We have achieved it before. It all boils down to making a commitment. Our relationships need to be rediscovered ever so often. We need to rediscover who we are within the confines of our commitment to another human being.  

We have to find what is really important and commit to continue learning about the person we love with our whole heart and soul. This can be done by changing up your dates, adding more road trips, going on an unexpected vacation. I find nothing reinvigorates a relationship like finding yourself in a new place together. The common experience provides opportunities for exploration, new conversations, and memories that will last you a lifetime.

Loving someone is about focusing with all that we have. The person you love will not always be afforded your undivided attention. Life just doesn’t work that way. Work, family, kids, responsibilities, and your own needs will steal attention. Every relationship will also experience moments where they feel like stale water. It will feel like it isn’t going anywhere or accomplishing anything. If we look close enough though, we would see life exists there. Before long, the wind, sun, or rain will come through to keep things moving. Just like those forces, we have to commit ourselves to routine expressions of love. These acts keep our relationships moving and flourishing. The person we promised to love forever and ever is worthy of that.

Be good to each other,

Nathan

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