An Affinity for Words and the Anguish of Pronouns

Words are powerful. Written or spoken, they invoke emotion. Within the writer, performer and audience, words provide a transfer of thought and feeling. I know of no other tool that can match their power.

Some men, most men, are artists at something; painting, poetry, food... I've always found comfort in words. I want to be a master of words. They are my desired art. I use them to paint a world of understanding for myself and those on the receiving end. 

I want my words to be powerful. When I speak or write, I desire to move people. I aim to transfer thoughts and feelings, because I think we should share; we should show people they are not alone. Words are my tool. Words are my weapon. 

But the smallest of words (pronouns) have a stranglehold on my life. Questions of relationship status send me stammering for the perfect pronouns, because I am afraid to let people in. I fear the reaction, disappointment, judgement and possibility of loss. In my world, pronouns are powerful. 

To hear others proudly profess, moves me. It provides courage and support. It deepens with in me a commitment to be my most true self. I want to be a man unafraid of pronouns. I want to live a life defined by my own terms, not by the reactions of others. Besides, he, him and his are just words. They stand two to three letters long. NATHAN is twice as strong as any word. 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan