Writing Bloody, Restlessly and With Reckless Abandon

Essays
Written By Nathan Box

What is a life without purpose? What is a life unshared with someone you love? What is a life void of deep and meaningful friendships? 

I am at a crux. I write these words bloody, restless and with reckless abandon. I do so while at the same time violating a sacred rule: never write when my emotions are getting the best of me. Never ever expose the raw. 

Last night, my thoughts consumed me. They wouldn't let me sleep. Between the tears and the knot in my gut, fears were exposed alongside the realities of the moment. I am stuck in a job that doesn't fulfill me. I am consumed by loneliness. And my circle of friends continues to draw smaller. 

After the dust has settled, a fundamental question remains; What am I going to do about it? At this point, I don't know. The chaos is suffocating. I hate chaos. 

So, I write this seeking advice. I write this for my mental health. I write this, because I am scared. 

 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan 

 

Nathan Box
Hello! My name is Nathan. I've always believed I would meet that special someone in one of two places; either a record store or a book store. Maybe I need to amend? I moved to Seattle in February of 2011 from Oklahoma City (Try and not hold the Sonics/Thunder thing against me). I knew I wanted to work for a nonprofit and go to grad school. Within a couple of months, I was doing both. During the day, I work as a Fund Developer and Community Relations Manager for a nonprofit in Kent and at night I try to stay as busy as possible volunteering, trying new restaurants, finding hidden bars and exploring Seattle. The past few years has been both terrifying and exhilarating. I have done things on my own I didn’t think were within my capability. I love being outdoors. On any given weekend, I can be found hiking, on a road trip, volunteering, at a museum, seeing a movie (I see a lot of them). I am passionate about nonprofit work. I feel called to leave a mark on this world. Nothing against those who enjoy making tons of money, I just need to know I am making a difference.
natetheworld.squarespace.com
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