Journal: February 2014

We are made to believe in this natural cycle to life: Birth, School, Graduation, College, Love, Marriage, Kids, Retirement and Death. I am a victim of this progression. I followed it perfectly until the spring of 2007.

Part of me believed 22 was too young to get married. While other parts were concerned with identity and the natural progression. Conflicted, I ended a two year relationship. At the time, I believed I was too selfish to get married. I needed to focus on my career and what was to made of this life. Seven years later, I am not sure selfish is the right word.

The bigger question is: Does the progression and the forces placed upon us by society make you happy? If not, what are you doing about it? As a younger man, I desired to be married. I wanted kids. I wanted the white picket fence and the whole nine yards. But now, I question why. Did I want those things, because it was expected of me? At 30 years of age, I cannot answer that question.

I do hold some things to be true though: Within me, is the power to be a great husband and a wonderful father. I am capable of those things for forever. The next question to be answered is concerning my happiness associated with these stations in life.

Can I live the rest of my life and not be called husband or father and still be happy? Can I find someone who is fine while I figure these things out? I truly hope so, because I am loyal, giving, trustworthy, supportive and challenging... All of the things you'd want in a husband and a father. I am also capable of forever.

Thanks for entering my world,

-Nathan